friends only {for a while}
my readers--

this journal is going
friends only for a while.
if you've been reading
but have stayed under the friends radar,
well, you might want to correct that
if'n you want to keep reading.

thanks,
seekyr

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fanboy, slow-pitch trivia
yesterday's quiz
in my arthurian literature
{300-level elective}
contained two slow-pitch
trivia questions in honor
of today's dvd release:

"do or ____ _____. there is no ______."

and then

princess leia: "i love you."
han solo: "______ ________."

in a class of twelve--
twelve students studying arthurian stuff--
only one had it all right.

*shakes his head*
kids these days.

in related news,
yes, i will be a total fanboy
and go buy the boxed set.
because i'm easy like that.

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strange fusion
in my dream this morning,
i was in a combination
laundromat,
used cd sales,
burrito sales
place.

whoa.

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garfield logan on his place in life
this quote from teen titans #15:

"don't feel sorry for me.

"that's the first thing everyone does when they meet me. it's kinda like. . .yeah, i'm famous. i liked being recognized.

"whether it's because i'm garfield logan the boy with the green skin or beast boy the kind who can change into a thousand animals or that child actor who never went anywhere.

"like corey feldman, but with super-powers."

{{emphasis mine,
and i do so love
the quote.}}

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_has been_
on october 5,
mr. william shatner
will release his second
alblum, titled has been.

that is all.

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question of the day
why can't i be you?

{{just wondering.}}

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laff-a-lympics and other tv oddities
boomerang, cartoon network's
other network, was running
a marathon on laff-a-lympics today,
presumably to wittily tie in
with just-pre-olympics hysteria.

ah, those yogi yahooies.
and the scooby doobies.
and those really rottens.
i will confess to being
a scooby doobies fan,
which really should come as
absolutely no surprise.
{although i did have
a soft spot in my heart
for the really rottens,
having enjoyed
the perils of penelope pitstop
at one time in my prehistory.}

and just whatever happened
to the battle of the network stars?
{i seemed to remember
favoring abc 'cause
they were my favorite
network, back in the day.}
what with the proliferation
of the celebrity industry
and all-the-time coverage/access,
you'd think there would be a place
for a newly revitalized battle.
and lord knows, with enough
b- and c-list celebrities
out there, they'd go for it,
i imagine.

that said,
bravo's celebrity poker
tournament has been
addictively fun to watch,
despite any real love of poker.
fun, fun, fun, i say.

oh, and a buried-at-the-bottom-
-of-the-page-r.i.p.
to miss julia child,
whom i never really watched,
but whom toby sigler did.
peace out, julia.

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reflection on driving
i do like to drive
a bit faster than i should,
faster than the posted signs
say that i should, at least.
for me, it's about wanting
to get where i am going,
or at least to feel like
i am making progress
moving to where i am going.

i was driving to school
today and had to sit
behind a slow moving car
for way too long,
so when a car between
the slow car and me passed
said slow car, i passed too.
and we passing cars
sped up considerably.

later on, we all had
to stop for construction,
and who should show up
right behind me,
but the slow car?
and i got to thinking
that we both got
to that same place
eventually
at near-enough times.
so how much did my going
any faster really help?

but i like to feel
as though i am getting
to that somewhere.
the end results may have
been identical, but i liked
feeling the way that i was
as i was driving.
that seems more important.

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a musical history {in periods}
i was thinking yesterday
during the long car ride home
{from school} about music
and different periods of my life.
about songs that made
an impression or which
seemed somehow emblematic
of periods of time.

here, then, is a history of me,
reflected in the music
that i recall standing out most
during periods of my life:

childhood
~ cookie monster, "c is for cookie"
~ the carpenters, "we've only just begun"
~ barry manilow, "copacabana (at the copa)"
~ "taps"
~ neil diamond, "america"

junior high/high school
~ duran duran, "hungry like the wolf"
~ bonnie tyler, "holding out for a hero"
~ human league, "don't you want me"
~ thompson twins, "hold me now"
~ asia, "only time will tell"
~ depeche mode, "blasphemous rumors"

the college years
~ yaz, "only you"
~ squeeze, "pulling mussels from a shell"
~ howard jones, "life in one day"
~ the police, "wrapped around your finger"
~ run dmc, "it's tricky"
~ new order, "bizarre love triangle"
~ enigma, "sadeness, part 1"

right after college {through syracuse}
rem, "losing my religion"
flock of seagulls, "i ran"
new order, "regret"
tasmin archer, "sleeping satelite"
sophie b. hawkins, "damn, i wish i was your lover"
ace of base, "all that she wants"

baltimore
peter gabriel, "solsbury hill"
heaven 17, "let me go"
deep blue something, "breakfast at tiffany's"
tori amos, "silent all those years"
the cure, "pictures of you"
garbage, "i'm only happy when it rains"

albany
~ sarah mclachlan, "possession"
~ christophe beck, "close your eyes"
~ john williams, "duel of the fates"
~ u2, "where the streets have no name"
~ morrissey, "suedehead"
~ liz phair, "fuck and run"
~ cowboy junkies, "a common disaster"

please note:
all music is with the time that
it became most significant to me,
not necessarily when it was released
or even when popular.

{{for some reason, the most recent music
has been the trickiest part
of this list for me.
the recent years.
the recent stuff.
i just may edit
that portion of the list,
at some point.
or maybe break
the recent stretch
into two lists,
one most-recent
and one a-bit-past}}

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musically interesting
scissor sisters
singing
"comfortably numb."

{{they have a single out
that's getting airplay,
"take your mama"--
and it's fine--
but the cover is
something to behold.}}

some will call this cover
blasphemous, but in my book,
that's reason enough
to listen.

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watchin' lately
i've been watching
a lot of sportsnight
{{on csc, so stick around}}.

i guess i started in
somewhere mid-second season,
from which i am watching
to the end.

such banter.
such wackiness.

so unlike
so much
of my life
right now.

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nightmares, munchkin music, and the end of summer
i have been having
terrible nightmares of late,
stress-pockets bubbling up
into my nighttime dreaming.
these are the kind
that have me wide-awake,
sitting up in bed,
semi-terrified
{for a moment}.

in unrelated news,
the munchkin music camp
is occupying campus now.
{{no, that's not
what they're really
called, but it's
the term that i've
been using since
last summer.}}
there are kids
all over our
"stately-wayne-manor-
-of-a-college"
{{again, my term}}.
it's cute,
all that energy.
but there's lots
of too-often-repeated
music that arrives
out of nowhere
{along with piles
of instrument cases
all through our halls}.

in still-other news,
the summer is moving
far too quickly to its end,
and i am super-swamped.
"swamped" alone no longer
does the trick.
i am officially super-swamped.
and that stinks.
i am reaching for
peace and failing
so miserably.

but at least
the temperatures
have been back down
a bit recently.

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supersleepiness
i had to be at school
way early today
{for reasons that
became nil,
at least for me
to be here so early},
but that was fine.

now i am so sleepy.
i want a nap.

why aren't there
cots here, like
in kindergarten?

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revenge of the episode three title
lucas has announced
the actual title for
star wars: episode three.

it is
revenge of the sith,
and the title format
apparently matches
that of
return of the jedi.

we are most pleased.

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trying to (re-)start a habit
i am trying
to write more.
more journal-
-entries.
more just-plain-writing.

it's something
that i have to do.

it's like
the exercising
i've been doing
more of, too.
all ways to take
better care of me.

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musical obsession
somehow, i have become
musically obsessed
with the bridge
of britney spears'
"outrageous."

i often find
bridges of songs
to be more interesting
than the rest of them.
dunno why.

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but you gotta go to london to see him
on july 16,
david hasselhoff
will begin a 60-performance
run as billy flynn
in chicago
in london.

i will make no
ironic comments
and offer no
witty commentary.

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what's all this about some half blood prince?
so harry potter #6
will be titled
harry potter
and the half blood prince.

intriguing,
i s'pose.
gives us all
something to ponder
over the months
{and perhaps years}
still to come.

actually just
reread all of the books
in the series to date,
my first reread of
any of them,
much less in full order.
i enjoyed the back-to-back
sense of continuity
and of watching
a world unfold
as rowling has detailed
more corners of it.
it's great watching
the growing range
of smaller characters
who are each growing
and who will no doubt
grow as the series moves on. . .

. . .that or be killed
before it's all over.

realistically, there will be
more bodies before we're through.
but who?
when?
and how?

curious. . .
. . .and intriguing,
with a half blood prince
thrown in for good measure.

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human league how long?
driving sunday morning,
almost all i could tune
in on the radio
were countdown shows. . .
y'know, casey and rick dees
and that guy from american idol. . .
and one of them
{casey, i think}
was saying that
it was this week
twenty-two years ago
that the human league's
"don't you want me"
was all the rage on the charts.

twenty-two years?

my, but i still do
love that song.

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mary schiebel, 1924-2004
my mother's mother
passed away this past thursday,
after a pair of strokes
that began last sunday.
she was eighty.
she and my grandfather
had been married for sixty years
and raised eight children,
of whom my mother is the oldest.
we buried her yesterday,
memorial day 2004.

my grandmother was a writer.
she wrote every day in her diary,
largely factual information
about who did what or who called.
it's a reference for our family,
a catalogue of what happened when.
i have a copy of the page
from the day when i was born.

she passed quickly
and did not suffer,
and for this i am
so thankful.
the first stroke hit her
at home, at the kitchen table.
she had finished writing
a newspaper column
for the verylocal paper
on the minutes of the grange meeting.
she had sent my grandfather into town
to drop off the column,
which she probably typed
on a veryold manual typewriter.
my grandfather found her
on the floor when he returned,
and she was rushed to the hospital.

as of sunday,
she was blinking her eyes distantly
and gently touching people's hands
and moving her one leg.
the doctors thought then that
she might recover.
all that movement stopped monday,
probably the result
of a second stroke.
soon after, a ventilator
was doing all of her breathing for her.

on tuesday,
i got the call to come
quickly.
i dropped everything
and did.
i saw her that night.

on wednesday,
i saw her again
and then stayed at the house
with my grandfather,
who wouldn't go into the hospital.
he was so upset, seeing her like that,
and was not dealing well at all.

by thursday,
the doctors were ready
to pronounce her brain dead,
and six of the surviving seven children
were there with my grandfather
to decide that they approved
of a possible organ transplant.
in the midst of preparation, though,
her heart simply stopped,
despite the pacemaker.
the doctors tried to help her,
but they had been instructed not
to keep her alive on machines only.

most of the family had actually
just left the hospital,
knowing the doctors would work
on the transplant procedure.
but she went when she wanted to,
when most had left,
and all was quieter.

all of this was in central new york,
an hour or hour and a half away.

i went to my own home
late on friday,
to collect myself,
to grieve some on my own,
and to get clothes.

the viewing was on sunday.
on monday we buried her.

my grandmother had such a warmth
and dignity about her.
she listened actively.
she offered advice,
but usually when asked.
the way she would say, "honey"
had all of the warmth of the world
in that one, elongated word.

i will miss her
so verymuch.

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